Have you ever been described as helpful, friendly, or good natured? And secretly you wondered if it was really a compliment? Wished you were more assertive?
Four decades ago, my first work evaluation read that I was “eager to please”. That was nice. But it wasn’t enough to get me to where I wanted to go. Eventually I had to learn to step up and step out.
You see, to get what you want out of life, you will have to grow your confidence. And that means being bolder. Here are some things you can do to grow your belief in yourself so that you are able to get what you want out of life!
- Think of taking risks as your new secret mission. Put post-it notes around your house or office that remind you to ask for what you want, be brave, and go add value.
- Develop yourself by reading more. Read about people who inspire you. Try to do some of the things they do.
- Who do you admire in your peer group that ends up getting what they want? Try to spend time with people who have what you want. You can learn from them. Too often, we hang around with people who don’t inspire us to greatness and wonder why we aren’t growing.
How will having more confidence benefit you? Answer that question out loud, or jot it down on a piece of paper. Take the time to realize what you would do if you were bolder. I had a friend who was afraid to interview for a new position because she was obese. She thought they would never hire her. I said, “Suzi, I guarantee that if you DON’T go on the interview, you WON’T get the position.” She went. And she got the job.
To grow in boldness, try some of the following ideas:
- Compliment strangers. When you are at the coffee shop, tell the cashier or the person next to you in line something you like about them. Maybe they have a pretty smile, nice voice, or cute outfit. Get in the habit of doing this wherever you go. I sometimes walk up to a complete stranger and start talking. Talking to lots of people will improve your communication and connection skills.
- When you know what you want, really go for it. Be pushy but in a creative way. How can you contribute more AND get what you need? Speak up and ask for what you want, even if it means repeating yourself or asking multiple people.
- What is an area you feel confident in? Make it better. Improving on our strengths is one way to feel confident and go for more. Whether you are task oriented or a people person, if you work on your strengths you can use them to propel you forward when you need to be bolder.
Too often people think that confidence is for the lucky few who were magically born with it. The truth is, you can improve and grow in surety by putting attention on it. When you make an effort to be bolder, you grow your confidence.
Because confidence isn’t a luxury. It is a necessity. And the more the better. Now is the time to take the risk to be bolder!